I have always operated under the assumption that if I’m ultimately going to be held accountable for something , then I’m going to be the one making the final call on how it gets done.  It’s part of my “D personality” according to the DISC Behavioral model and my family.  I struggle when I don’t have a contribution to the outcome.  I need to be in charge of my own fate.  In fact I was raised to believe that my hopes, dreams and aspirations are too important to be in the hands of another person.    Of course I’m talking about control.

There was a very good lesson at church on Sunday about this very thing.  He talked about what I have learned over time – control is an illusion.  We run ourselves into the ground trying to control every outcome and every aspect of our families, careers, finances, etc.

There has been a saying, a credo even that has run my house for the last decade – “We’re gonna’ do the absolute best we can and see if God will bless it.”  I finally came to the conclusion, after stubbing my toe a number of times, that I can only control my effort and my portion of the journey.  Trying to control outcomes will only end in disappointment.  I have learned, over time, that I still many times get the desired outcome but without many of the headaches and tough conversations between the start and the finish.

Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings was one of, if not the best, high school running backs I have ever seen.  He was ranked as the # 1 high school football player in the country and had every college coach from around the nation making their way to small Palestine, TX.  His recruitment ended up being a battle between the University of Texas and the University of Oklahoma.  They were both great football programs and both bitter rivals of the other.

In the 2003 version of the Red River Rivalry Adrian Peterson was being hosted by Texas and after witnessing a fight in the locker room at halftime and more importantly witnessing the 65 – 13 beatdown of the Longhorns by the Sooners, the decision seemed easy.  The football teams seemed to be going in different directions and there appeared to be chemistry problems in the Texas locker room.  Making the best decision he could in an effort to win the Heisman trophy and win a national championship for his team, Oklahoma was the best decision he could make at the time.

I can’t say that Adrian Peterson made a bad decision based on the intelligence he had when the decision had to be made.  Oklahoma had beaten Texas 4 straight times.  In fact, with his knowledge of the current climate of both programs it might have been deemed stupid on his part to choose to play at Texas.

 In the three years Adrian Peterson was at Oklahoma they went one and two against Texas and while he finished as the runner up for the Heisman trophy after his freshman year, they played in two BCS games and lost one 55-19 and lost the other to Boise State.  Texas in that same three year span went two and one against Oklahoma, won two Rose Bowls over Michigan and USC, with the win over USC bringing Texas its 4^th national championship.  It is conceivable that if Adrian Peterson goes to Texas and plays with Vince Young, they could have won the national championship in 2004 as well.

We don’t get to control the outcomes.  We only get to do the best we can where we are with what we have.  The only thing we can control is intent and effort.

Don’t waste your time trying to control every outcome.  Focus your energy on the journey and the work.  Work as hard as you can and be blessed by the outcome.

Control is a disease and can be deadly to you, your relationships, your health and your ultimate success.  Control yourself and let the outcomes take care of themselves.