Time to stop wussifying America
Wednesday, December 12th, 2007I have constantly called it the “wussification” of America. It’s almost funny because with all the flaws and inequities in the American experience, one of the overriding principles of the American ideal is competition, fair play and to the victor goes the spoils.
My six-year-old daughter has done gymnastics, soccer and ballet. My seven-year-old son has done baseball, flag football and soccer. At the conclusion of every one of those seasons, they had a pizza party and they all got a trophy. I always hated it but hey, they are kids right? When my son played football, they didn’t keep score. Because of conversations we had before he played, he was always worried about the score. As the assistant coach for that team, we always told the kids, “We are not worried about the score, just make plays.”
I finally gave in and told my son that I would help him keep track of scores as long as he didn’t talk about it with the other kids.
I’m sure there is some professional out there with more acronyms behind their name than me that will suggest that I am doing the wrong thing. Maybe I’m a bad father. Maybe my kids will end up screwed up. Maybe I am taking my kids’ childhood away.
I guess I have just never figured out the age when it all matters. I have always operated with the mindset of the following two paragraphs from the Competition chapter in my book, Sports for Life …
“Competition is a part of life. You will compete for jobs, education, housing, and relationships. It does not matter if ‘Soft Hearts’ tell you that you don’t have to keep score, it’s all about having fun, doesn’t matter the outcome, as long as you try, do not believe them. Sometimes, you have to learn to try harder and try smarter. You will compete in every aspect of your life. You will compete to make athletic teams, band chairs, academic teams, scholarships, spouses, and jobs.
“Competition is a good thing; one of the best things. Competition has been the catalyst for invention, success and people doing more than ever thought possible. Competition is a spirit, a prevailing attitude and a virtue of Americana that took man to the moon, brought down the price of computers, led man to fly and of course has taken sports to the forefront of society.”
I guess I’ll figure it out at some point and I’ll either be wrong or right but more than likely a mixture of the two. It is something that is supremely personal and each family does it differently.
I made a comment about youth sports on my radio show that I thought we are sending children bad messages when right around the corner they will have to compete for grades, jobs, scholarships and many other things. I had a caller call in get after me pretty good saying that I was going to mess up my kids. Me being the jerk that I can be sometimes, I told her that she could raise her kids any way that she wanted because someone had to work for my kids.
While I didn’t have to be rude I really do think that teaching kids that everyone wins is a bad move.
My son’s basketball team starts in January and I’m the head coach. I don’t know exactly how I am going to handle this “wussying” thing. I guess I’ll have to keep track in my head and talk to my kid once we get home.
Excuse me if I have the weird, self-centered, off-center thought that maybe, just maybe not getting an award and seeing someone else win it will encourage them to work harder and work smarter. He battles for the highest marks in his class right now, why not battle at sports.
Competing is great. Everyone doesn’t need a trophy or an award. If it is about participation then let it be about participation and let’s not give every kid the MVP award.
Well maybe just skip my kid. Let him earn it.
I know he will.








